*SAME POST> ONE YEAR LATER UPDATE:
the below sucks, don't read if oyu don't want bummer'sville. That said, real talk, sometimes life sucks, and as an artist, sometimes that kicks the crap out of your ability to anything at all. So, January 2021, Things are okay.
And I'm doing art. And I can now do what the og post outlined, and it is finally providing the outlet i have always needed to not overthink and like, off myself via weed somehow. We got this shit-, 2021 is going to be brutal if it has to be, but by god, we're going to make things.
Hey hi ho there. Entering 2020 honestly is, without a doubt the shittiest time of my life- it's a big dramatic to post online or whatever but my father died and subsequently my responsibility to family who need my immediate help has changed my priorities and time responsibilities dramatically. It really fucking sucks, no getting around it, but I am not an idiot, and I know we all die, and my dad as badass as he was, thought animation was fucking cool. I saw the original hobbit, AND ghost in the shell in the same blockbuster rental because of that jerk. He really thought Newgrouds was cool too, and like me, appreciated the all-participate-for-sake-of-lols-or-woah's, and I think he too would thank Tom for having his own version of an internet underhaven for artists who just like to make stuff, for sake of making stuff, and having a forum in it's best form- to talk about making more stuff.
Enough about that shit, though, subscribe fools. Double subscribe because holy shit I can't afford anything at the moment.
What I can do, and actually have been doing, is art- strangely. Before all the dramatics, I was in a really long, bored/depressed/defeated state with art after realizing once again my ambitions were way out of wack with a person's/my realistic physical capacity to produce in volume quantities of good animation for as long as I did with Animixtape. But since my schedule has shifted so much, I'm drawing a lot mrore, and sticking with what I start to finish a lot more. This is pretty hopeful, and no doubt a reflection of how art used to function as a centering and necessary element in my life. This means that despite the shit going on, the shit I spent time on instead of forcing myself to do art, I'm doing it now because it's saving me.
So here we go, thanks for helping me this far dad, and everyone else.
That felt good to type, I'll probably delete this later it's p lame. Cheers NG